Rubber Ducky, You're the One

Stella's least favorite activity is taking a bath. Though, I've never actually known of a dog who liked a bath. What makes me laugh about Stella, though, is that she always seems to try to get into the bathtub when I'm taking a bath or shower. In fact, this past week I was having a very stressful time with work and school. I decided to treat myself to a wonderful, relaxing bubble bath. I lit candles, put on my favorite mellow music mix, and added lots of lavender bubble bath. The second I got in and settled, Stella came running into the bathroom. She went to jump into the tub, but luckily my reflexes were fast enough to block her entry. She didn't leave my side until after she burped in my face. Then she went to play with Gingerbread Man. However, when it's her turn, she won't go near it. The second she sees me take out her bottle of shampoo (which she really does know the difference between her shampoo and mine), she hides under my kitchen table.

Once I coax her into the bathtub, she tries to stay away from the faucet as much as she can. She shakes and shivers and tries to jump out of the tub. One time she even managed to jump out of the tub, run out of the bathroom, and prance right onto my bed. She then tried to make herself invisible by hiding behind my pillows and into my blankets. Needless to say that it created a few more chores for me to do that day.

Perhaps Stella's least favorite part of the bath is what happens after...the Evil Blow Dryer. Stella's nemesis is the Evil Blow Dryer. Actually, that's not entirely true. She has three real enemies, kind of like a puppy axis of evil. It consists of the Evil Blow Dryer, The Malevolent Blender, and the Spiteful Vacuum Cleaner. When I use the Evil Blow Dryer, she hides against the wall and tries to make herself into the smallest little ball ever. This creates a very funny result as odd patches of her become dry and the rest of her is soaking wet.

I take Stella to be professionally groomed every few months. Each time they predict that it will take 2-3 hours and the nice people at the pet groomers tell me they'll call me when she's ready. Every time it ends up taking more like 5-6 hours. Why? "Yeah, umm, she had a little incident with the blow dryer." They never elaborate, but I know from the tone of their voice that I better make sure I have enough cash on hand to leave a considerable tip.

Overall, I love giving Stella baths. If she knew that, I'm sure she would no longer be on speaking terms with me. I happen to think it's funny to see her fluffy self turn into a skinny, funny looking pup. AND, she's always so happy once it's over. Not to mention, she gets a lot more hugs from me. It's a lot easier to snuggle with a puppy who doesn't smell like poo.

You Can Catch Me, I'm the Gingerbread Man

Stella is a spoiled dog. Not only do I buy her a plethora of toys, but so do my friends and family. The fun part is that she plays with them on her own. I keep a basket overflowing of toys on the floor in my living room. When Stella was younger, each night she would go through the basket to play with her toys. She would pick out one toy, take it out of the basket, and play with it for approximately 2 minutes. Then she'd leave it on the floor, and go for another toy. And then another. And then another. You get the idea. I didn't have to do anything other than clean them up before bed.

Then, one day, I bought yet another toy for Stella. This time it was Gingerbread Man. At first I didn't notice anything different. Stella played with the toy and then played with others. But over the next few weeks, she began to play with it more and more. Soon her other toys were neglected.

It became a rare sight that I would see Stella without Gingerbread Man in tote. She'd play with him all night and then when it was time for bed, she carried it with her and used him as a pillow. No trip was complete without him. Her favorite game was to pick him up with her mouth, throw him as far as she could, and then pounce on him. She would hop and growl and run all over the place. She pounced with a huge jump and landed on top to maximize the volume of the squeak.

It's kind of embarrassing to have a dog who always plays with a Gingerbread Man. This has been going on for the past year and a half. It doesn't matter if it's the 4th of July, Easter or Halloween. She'll be playing with a Christmas toy. That's my dog.

Overall, I embrace the Gingerbread Man. My only huge dilemma occurred earlier this week. I was fast asleep when something landed directly on my face. In a hazy state of awareness, I opened my eyes in just enough time to recognize that it was Gingerbread Man. I had one horrifying second when I realized what was about to happen. There was no time to react, move the Gingerbread Man, or cover my face. Because after that one second had passed, Stella pounced. Full force. Hard. Stellllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!